The night before

This time in 24 hours I will be landing in Hong Kong any second. This still does not feel real; I keep thinking I will be sat back at my desk at 8.30 tomorrow morning, making phone calls and looking out of the window daydreaming about anything other than work.

I have finally been able to pack my bag after about 5 attempts (okay the first time mum just zipped me inside it to see if I could fit), but now that it’s finally done, I can look back and laugh at how stressed I was getting before- swearing and pulling out all of my clothes and throwing them angrily on to the floor before folding them back up again and putting them back to exactly where they were in the first place. It was as if I thought that unpacking and repacking and rearranging would miraculously make it lighter (or make it shrink). But I got there in the end! 16 kg!

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The last few days have been nothing less than perfect, but inevitably slightly emotional. I have been so excited that I have had a constant tight throat, to the point where it’s been hard to eat or even swallow my own spit. I keep having sudden bursts of realisation that after years of waiting and planning, my dream is about to come true. It’s such an overwhelmingly good feeling.

Of course at the same time, I’ve had to temporarily part with people that I love and will miss soooo much. I am THE WORST at goodbyes. Even going back up to uni for four weeks after being home for the weekend would make me cry a few rivers. I’ve even sadly been looking at my teddy and wondering what I will do without my spooning buddy for the next year and four months (Jenny, you’re in for a treat). Yeah I’m a bit of a soppy mess, but I know when I walk through the airport gates that feeling will pass and nothing but excitement will remain.

I have been lucky enough to have had so many lovely messages and cards and presents from so many different people. It’s such a nice feeling to know I have so many soul mates to come back to.

I’m now lying in my bed about to make the most of my last night in my cosy bedroom, sleeping on a memory foam mattress. I had a hot bath earlier too, with fruity scented bubbles, a glass of wine and expensive shampoo. No more incense, no more Jessie, no more double bed to myself or fairy lights.

It’s highly unlikely that I am going to get much sleep tonight, but in a way I hope that I don’t get too much because that way I’ll sleep on the plane and wake up just in time for morning in Hong Kong.

I guess I should probably at least try and get some sleep now. I’m hoping after a bit of meditation this sickness will go away and I’ll eventually drift off. Goodnight, wish me a safe flight.

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